ALL MY LIFE I'S HAD TO FIGHT (c) Miss Sophia. Well, not really... But kinda... I've always had to deal with the idea that people think I don't like them... and it is so annoying. Mostly because I genuinely rarely dislike anyone... Disinterested? Sure. But dislike... Nah, I don't really walk around disliking people. I wish I was more like my Mom. She has this spirit about her that makes people feel so at peace in her presence. I just seem to make people feel uneasy. :(
I've found that folks are self-centered. They're not thinking about how EYE feel or my unique personality. Most people only care about how they appear to you. EYE do not like small talk, EYE can get anxious when around folks that aren't my regular circle. This has nothing to do with you, or whether or not I like you. I wish more people understood that.
Furthermore EYE can't really empathize with that mindset because I don't look for validation in that capacity. If you don't like me I genuinely don't care. I am an acquired taste, and am mostly shocked when people do like me off the bat lol.
It can be exhausting at times that as an "introvert" I have to put up a facade in front of people that I don't know well, for fear of how they might receive me. I do make a conscious effort to smile more, and be more engaging. Laugh at things I don't find funny, because people like when you laugh at their jokes, but to me it comes off so disingenuous. I am a work in progress doe. I'm gonna keep fighting the good fight.
Signed,
Ms. Perpetual Resting Bitch Face