Sooooo... since getting engaged a few months have passed and the typical question I receive is "How is wedding planning going?" The individual normally looks at me with the Alice face and waits for me to swoon about how perfect and amazing the whole experience is. NOAP. BEFORE I read the article on Buzzfeed that detailed how I SHOULD respond to such inquires, most times my reaction was a long growl... Which is off-putting I'm sure...
Most people asking are polite associates, that don't know me, and therefore don't really understand my response. I am not in the least bit not excited about marrying the love of my life. He's my homie.lover.friend., there's no one more perfect for me, and things with us are just so fun, and easy. He's my lobster (c) Phoebe. The reaction of course, is in response to this whole spectacle that is wedding planning.
I've had conversations with my fiance' because I didn't want him to feel a way because I'm not as "excited" as he might feel I should be. I had to be clear by saying, "I'm beyond ecstatic to be committing to spend the rest of my life with you. It's the spectacle that doesn't move me." Lol. I know he wants to make the day special for me, and for it to be the most amazing day of my life, and I wanted to be extremely transparent with him by stating that I have no doubt in my mind that I will THOROUGHLY enjoy my wedding; we both are putting a lot of effort into making it reflective of each of our personalities, quirks and all... He gets his spectacle, I get my turn up with friends and fam... BUT, I KNOW that the most amazing day of my life up until that point will most likely be the day after... When it's just he and I, laying up, doing not nothing.
This is one of the first big compromises of our relationship and one of my fiance's and I's distinct differences. I LOVE one on one time. The idea of eloping was always my ideal situation because it's so personal, and intimate. Though I love my friends and family to me there is nothing intimate about sharing this very personal experience with hundreds of people. I've always wanted a small, intimate, elopement/ceremony and an allllllll out TURN UP reception... Then we dip out and travel the world for the month. It is my happy ending.
My fiance' on the other hand is definitely a people person. He prefers group gatherings and sharing time with me and his friends. So a wedding, naturally is his happy ending. I know he feels guilty about wanting a wedding, and I've been struggling with finding the words to express to him that I don't want him to feel guilty for that. I just want him to understand where I am coming from, and why I react the way I do and have the apprehensions I have.
I am beyond happy at our ability to reach a happy medium. Just further proof that he is indeed my person. 2017 is gonna be litttttt! :)