Sooooo, those that know me know that I'm not big on jewelry... So when it came to picking out an engagement ring I knew I wanted to go with something simple and classic. I also know my fiance' and although I would've LOVED it if he were to spend next to nothing on a ring not only because jewelry doesn't move me, but because the rings I like genuinely aren't that expensive, I knew that he wasn't about that life.
He did a PHENOMENAL job, I know it was important for him to give me something that I like, that also proclaimed that he was willing to make a sacrifice and save up to get me something really nice and something I should be proud of. He knew how important it was to me to NOT get an overpriced blood diamond from a jewelry store chain and went with a local jeweler instead. Although I wanted to shy away from a diamond as a stone because of the commercialization of them, I must admit that I do enjoy the sparkle.
Here comes the wedding BAND part... I don't want one. I feel like my ring is PERFECT as is. Simple, classic, and me. I don't want to add anything to it. However, I'm trying to figure out how that translates when having a wedding. I've seen some people that just remove the "ring" aspect of the ceremony all together. I am not opposed to this as I don't believe our commitment can be tied to something as insignificant as a piece of metal on our fingers. I do enjoy the symbolism of it. I also know that Jason has always said that when he gets married that he wants to wear a ring... and even though I've only been engaged for a little less than five months I do take pride in knowing people can look down at my hand and see that someone has committed to spending their life with me. So I knew in no way was I going to go "FULL MIA" and say nawl, we not doing the ring thing.
I think we've reached yet another compromise. I read that people wear wedding bands in place of their diamond engagement ring when they want to be more modest; for example when they go on vacation, etc. they opt for the band which is less flashy and understated. I decided that since I didn't want a wedding band, that my "cheap" ring of choice could serve as the modest wedding band that I don't want.
Jason doesn't like the idea of "switching out" your ring to match your mood and outfit and I get that. I don't think that's necessary either. But I DO like the idea of having a ring that's more practical in price for when we vacation... Don't get me wrong I don't think someone is going to "Kim K." me, but I lose things a LOT and wearing my engagement ring while in Greece gave me sooooo much anxiety, I don't like putting that type of pressure on myself.
What I'm trying to convey is that all of this stuff, though rooted in some sort of tradition can be altered to fit who you are as a couple. I LOVE my engagement ring, my "alternate ring" does not in any way signify that my engagement ring isn't good enough. I just don't like always having to wear something that's thousands of dollars on my finger in spaces that I might feel would put me in comprising positions, and as a woman that's something I have to think about. A huge majority of my life is thinking about how to feel safe. I believe that having this alternate ring would help with that.